Your Author, Godzilla would like to point out, from the beginning, that this
text file that you are reading at this
very moment, is made STRICTLY for
entertainment purposes,and is not to be taken seriously because it is illeagal
do the item contained in this file.
Hello Good folks of Anarchy land! It is I, your FAVORITE burned out pot
smoking computer modem geek, Godzilla..
This is a quite simple and small file,
because 1 it works and 2 i can get right to the point.. How would YOU like to
a SHITLOAD of tapes/cd's for only 1 cent with nothing more to buy EVER..
well, if you see the same ads i do in all of the
magazines, you know that you
have to buy like 8 or nine <or is it more> tapes/cd's at "regular" club prices,
in itself is bad enough,but THEN they send you shitty tapes that you
SURE AS HELL dont want, <Shit so bad you cant GIVE
it away> like anne murray
songs and the like.
. Anyway, here is a way to get for VERY LITTLE <1 cent plus
shipping and handling> to get your free buncha tapes/cd's
with nothing more to
buy ever AND no hasstles from the company..Here is the trick. Find your ad for
the tapes. Fill
it out like you would as if you were actually ordering stuff.
Then, mail the order form in, along with your ever so small
get your tapes/cd's enjoy them, because they are yours. As for the bill, throw
it away,it doesnt matter. Then
in about 2 weeks,you will receive a "Shitty
album". You know, the one noone wants, well, keep that too. It is yours. play
with it or something. Anyhow, the company will catch on at this time
and say among themselves "Hey, yaknow? This asshole
never sent us our cash for
those good albums or the shitty one, lets not send him the next shitty one,
and lets just
bill him." Then all they will do is send you a bill.Here is the
neat part, when you get the bill, simply get a dark marker
<like a sharpie
marker> for a Buck at any school supplies store, and write "Deceased" across
the unopened envelope<bill>
and put it back in your mailbox. The U.S. Mail
will nicely pick it up, and send it back to the company, who will say "Gee,
mother fucker gone died on us, oh well, looks like were out our cash.
Bummer." I mean, think of it, they would have to
claim against your estate if
you really died, and it would cost a hell of a lot more than it would be
worth. So, they
just let it slide.
Just dont try this method more than once.
For obvious reasons..
Method #2 For all of you who are 17 and under.
Send it away as you normally would,
but instead of writing "Deceased" on the
envelope,simply send them a letter saying that it is illeagal to have a
contract with a minor in your state.
Simple as that. Due to the fact
that.. Well, it is..so the record company fucks themselves by sending it to
the first place.
.. There tough luck..
I know those of you that have seen the other "Zillafiles"(tm) are thinking
"Damn, this one
sure is short" It Is. the reason for it being so short is
because 1) I am tired and 2) it is so simple, why drag it out.
as with all "Your Brain on Drugs" "Zillafiles" (tm) the methods
listed in the file have all be proven to work <even
though they are for
entertainment>. So be carefull kiddies lest the dogs of wrath maul you.
And as usual, Please,
do not edit, change, rearrange, mutilate, beseige, kill,
or generally fuck up this text file.